After one week of recovering from pain associated from TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation) treatment on the right, damaged from a previous suicide attempt, side of my brain, I am actually feeling much better today.
I just spent an hour reading hundreds of Pinterest pins I have been collecting over the years for my daughter to read now and as she grows. They are messages encouraging her to love herself, do her best, make life count, and heal herself. They are also, I realized this morning, messages I’ve saved for myself, too.
I recognize that we are all struggling with something, or many things, all of the time. I recognize that life can be difficult, depressing, downtroddening and maddening. But it is also true that without a struggle of some kind, without the opportunity to persevere, we would be unable to recognize our strength, our resilience or our own joy in overcoming big and small things.
Today is an important day for all of us to recognize that we can be a light in the world for our own selves and also for everyone else when we understand what we are made of and can attack the problems we face head on and overcome them.
There is a joy in persevering despite it all, and maybe this is really the joy we find when we see at last that we are equipped to deal with whatever comes our way as long as we are rooted in the best of who we are.
I am grateful today for the challenges that Bipolar I has presented to me these past twenty years, in all of their many forms and for all of their countless struggles. I did not always make the best decisions and choices when I could have, but I have survived in spite of my mistakes and shortcomings somehow through the forgiveness and mercy of living Life itself.
Despite it all, I am alive today and able to appreciate my journey, to understand the joy of following through on my difficult path. I have reached a stopping place where I am able to appreciate the life I have worked so hard to create along the way, even when bogged down by the severity of my condition.
I am convinced that I have survived to tell my tale for the benefit of those still struggling, and that I will do this with the platform I have to the best of my ability.
Make today count, despite its challenges. Be a phoenix, a phenom, a bright light in the confusion of the world. Be the best you that you can be and the rest of your story will write itself.