Yes, it’s true: a little publicized side effect of typical, penicillin and penicillin-like antibiotics is DEPRESSION!
What?! It’s true. I was given ten days of antibiotics for bronchitis around Thanksgiving time. Sure enough, by the last day I was gobbling up all of my benzodiazepines, so deeply desirous of a long, maybe eternal, break from my misery in this failed world where all I could do was try and fail, and try and fail again, and again and again, it seemed to me, in what really seemed like a doomed and star-crossed (yet) typical bipolar lifespan of cyclical moods–but I did not know that this depression was caused by antibiotics, I thought it was just another failure to set myself right…I concluded, prematurely, that I was a failing failure who would only keep failing her family and so must cease to exist…
…I woke up 16 hours later with a major hangover that’s lasted now for five days, I have no more sleeping pills for another 21 days, I can’t sleep through the night, and the earliest I can see Rosenburg, my psychiatrist, is tomorrow at 3:45pm where I will have to admit that I did want a “long break” and thought I could possibly die but knew I’d probably live since I’m a old hand at overdoses–I did give myself a concussion, however, but it’s fairly minor. My head hurts, but the depression is out of my system now that the antibiotics are too!
There seems to be a kind of almost divine breath that keeps flowing back into my weary lungs, wanting me to stay alive so that I can learn things like, hey, people–antibiotics cause depression, hold on, you didn’t psyche yourself out, this will pass–so that I can write articles like these to make y’all aware of the dangers of lifesaving penicillin and pseudo-penicillin! Maybe…
…I am happy to report that I am back to my Chloe-loving, paint-mad and third novel-writing self, practically…I decided to add a new player to my support team: enter Dr. Allison, who has a doctorate in Psychology and who is (unbelievably) free with my Medicare (what luck!) to help me undo all the impatient disasters set off in my mind from the antibiotics, to help me forgive myself for bailing on my exquisite loved ones without even saying goodbye first!
Stay tuned for updates on my mental status and growing ability to function in my dysfunction, and please write to me on my comment page! I read all comments and will eventually write you back because we’ll be pen pals during dark and lonely early mornings when all sane people are deeply sleeping!
May you be healthy and happy,
Marie K Johnston
Follow me at https://Amazon.com/author/mariekjohnston to preview and purchase my books and at https://www.MarieKJohnston.com (“The Fiction & Folk Art of Marie K Johnston”), https://www.BooksbyMarieKJohnston.com, https://www.HalcyonDaysPress.Wordpress.com and https://www.MentalbyMarieKJohnston.com (“Mental 2018)” is a First Edition Novel”) now!