Intensive Therapy Session #4: No Comparisons

Today we discussed the idea that each person manages trauma differently and what is traumatic to one person might not be traumatic to another. Dr. Allison said that I managed to get through my childhood without developing PTSD, a personality disorder or an addiction, even though I was traumatized by my father molesting and raping…

Intensive Therapy Session # 3: Trauma & Mental Illness

Today was a bit overwhelming, in and out of the therapy session: I no longer stuff my negative feelings only to later turn them into self-harm; instead, I am like a toddler who doesn’t recognize she is irritated, angry or agitated until that feeling is on overdrive and it is like I am learning to…

A Signed Book Giveaway In May 2020!

I am now working with a marketing company to create buzz for my published work! The first contest to drum up awareness of, and interest in, my work is a contest to choose your favorite book cover out of the four books I’m currently promoting: “Mental (a novel), “Dandelions (a poem for children and their…

Intensive Therapy Session # 2: Turning Toxic Shame Into Self-Compassion

Today, I learned that I developed two self images while growing up: the outwardly confident and happy me and the hidden, traumatized and shamed me. I see that my adult struggle has been integrating these two parts of myself which were bifurcated by my father’s abuse. Those of you familiar with my second novel, “Mental…

Intensive Therapy Session # 1: Recognizing Moods

You aren’t really alone on your journey if you have a good psychologist! The biggest question I have today is how long does it take to get over a childhood of incest? Her answer: before we can tackle that, we must deal with your hypomania! Recognizing my moods was one of my original goals when…

A Suicide Attempt Creates A Breakthrough

I took a (fatal) dose of atenolol two Fridays ago and survived after being hospitalized. After I recovered, I realized that all ten of my very serious suicide attempts stem from my inability to manage my childhood incest history. While in intensive therapy in the mental hospital during my recovery last week, I realized that…

Sofeggio Music is Symphonic Relaxation

So, I’ve read that Solfeggio music, a kind of deep, tonal music that is mostly without vocals, can be relaxing and I’ve found that it is. It can sound like a symphonic prayer. If you listen to it with your eyes closed while you’re laying down (like I do), you can feel like you’re floating….

And I’ve Glided into the Sweet, Pleasant Waters of Hypomania!

So, last night I couldn’t sleep a wink— —It seemed really important to put in the best possible Easter Walmart grocery order just in time for Sunday’s festivities. Then it seemed very important to download music onto my iHeartRadio playlists… By 10:30, I took another sleeping pill, 30mg of temazapam (which is the strongest sleeping…

My Big Foot Problem Which Led to Employing Coping Skills

So, last Tuesday I was in the grocery store shopping for basics after standing in a line out front for over thirty minutes, being let in ten at a time, and sweating in the hot morning sunshine. I had on some denim sandals that matched my navy sundress. Little did I know that these sandals…