I created this website in the hopes of helping others similarly afflicted find a relatable place where they could see themselves through my words and pictures, so that other people with Bipolar Disorder could find solace, kinship, understanding, hope and positive tools, learn from my mistakes, as well as have a good laugh or two at my expense.I was diagnosed with Bipolar I twenty years ago. I have taken every mathematical permutation of medications possible, done ECT and TMS, had loads of individual and group therapy, been an inpatient over 25 times. Even still, I have tried to seriously take my life seven times….It became clear to me after my last and final attempt two years ago, thankfully, that all of the hard work and effort I kept putting into ending my life would be better spent in learning to live with my illness.After all I’ve been through, I have found the most therapeutic solace in writing and art–but I see a renowned neuropsychiatrist, as well. My husband and my daughter are my saving graces–they can make me laugh when I feel suicidal, something no one else has the power to do.I am a married 40 year old woman with a 7 year old daughter. We live in a little arty town just northwest of Houston, Texas in a house which my husband provides us that is large enough for an art room. I have been on Disability since leaving the working world twelve years ago, where in my former life I was a single high school English teacher. My current life consists of mothering, wife-ing, housework, writing, making art and following a treatment plan that includes TMS. I realize I am incredibly lucky to even be alive with no permanent deficits or damage, much less to be able to revel in the love of my family and to have the necessary free time to be a writer and visual artist.
You can view my growing body of creative writing and visual art at http://www.MarieKJohnston.com, my creative website!
I hope that by baring my soul, found in my obsessively kept journal, it will help you on your own journey to healing and wholeness. I believe these are lifelong journeys–mine begin again every morning when I open my eyes, never knowing how this affliction of Bipolar Disorder will challenge my day and the days of those I love.